and wonder...who are you??
not literally as in what your name is and all
but metaphorically as in
what are you in this world
are you just like any tom dick and harry
or are you the one that shines above the rest
are you the one that makes your friends laugh
when the times are down
or are you the one that makes the time down?
yea you guessed right
its one of those days where i sit down and think
of things of no such importance such as this
and yet i cannot help feeling that the answer
is beyond the great horizon away from the grasp
of my large and clumsy finger tips
What am i to the the world
hmmmmmmmmmmmmm...............
to be honest i don't know
i have always been different depending on who i am with
maybe thats who i am...a chameleon
ever changing in every different scenario
or maybe not?
Even a chameleon has its original form
a form any other form can recognize as the main
but me??what is my main personality?
i wonder hmmmmm................
when i was at very young age, i was always the cautious one
the one whom took a detour at the very sight of danger
when i grew older at standard 1-3, i was always the one in the corner
always there but invisible,not of any significant importance i guess
when i grew older again around standard 4-6 i became more aggressive
wanting to fit into society more i begun to imitate the people around
imitating peoples personality,the way they talk,what they talk, and etc
i was finally among a group of friends then
again although i was acknowledge as a friend
my presence was there but not there,
it was of no important significant so it doesn't matter if i was there or not
invisibility was a great irony indeed considering i towered among
my fellow classmates back in those age
The time came when i had to move on
to a new era of of my life...middle school
i was enroll into 1budiman where i started anew..fresh for a new start
once again my personality and all practically imitated what is that
of my surrounding ....it took me about 2 month to finally find
a group of people who acknowledge me as their friends
2 month worth of observing how they talk,what they talk about,
and so on and well it work so what the heck i guess
And then came scouts
yes the society that practically change my life to what it is today
the society which i am so proud to be in and will still be till the end of time
when i was with scouts
my personality once again changed....
around my PL which that time range from the calm and inteligent PL daniel lai
to the ferocious bear tan su leong and the wise cheng guo sern
they were all part of my life which shape me
my time with daniel lai made me more lax with my scouts
my time with tan su leong made me less eager to skrew my members
my time with cheng guo sern taught me the greatest tool of all in scouts
..improvising.....
and every time the pl changed,i change abit as well
after some time
the personality started to set in
the personality which my friends have all come to know
are i would say my annoyingness lol
i would when among my friends
find a topic where i have heard not long before
in hope that this group of people has not heard it yet
so that i can start common point where we all talk
i would always try to kick in a few jokes
just to brighten the mood....it doesnt always works
and at some times
strange words and philosophy start forming in my head
for god knows what reason
but i dont care
as long as everyone's happy
i dont mind dipping my name in mud a few times
just to make the guys around me laugh abit
its just me i guess
but now that i have so much of a free time
i start to wonder to my self .........
who am i really??
i change in the presence of everyone
and i am different to everyone depending on situation
so who is the real me that has been doormat for so long
in fact
to be honest
i go as far as to say that i have forgotten how to laugh
i have always held back a laughter
i dont know why
but i have always try not to laugh
but when i do
it would always be an inaudible sound
or an imitated laugh
but well again
this isnt the time for blabbering nonsense haha
i manage to sketch up a picture
it took me half the afternoon to complete
its a picture of a man with many facade
the picture is suppose to mean the falseness of truth
the mans real face represent the truth
while the mask symbolizes a lie
as we uncover one lie,we stumble upon another greater lie
and as one lie leads to another
the truth will never be unveil
maybe the answer to the question is there is simply
no such thing as the truth
but then again who are we in the vast land in the universe
just a speck of dust i presume in the eyes of HE
never meant to known the whole truth but just
a truth shrouded in lies
but i guess we just have to be great full about it
because its better to know something
than to know nothing at all
and things that are meant to be are meant to be
so if we dont know the truth then the truth is not to be known
by us..that is HIS will
and HIS will is always for the greater good
till then
good nite
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