The faces i miss so much

Been seeing so much lately
been experiencing soo much
causing me to remember loads of stuff
i never wanted to remember
No matter how sweet the memory may be
it is not worth the pain that comes after
i had once said

There is no Love if there is no memory
there is no Love when there is nothing to remember
there is no Love when there is no contact to the person
direct or indirect
both will ignite or keep on a feeling for the person

and i have always come to believe
that this quote is all so true
as long as i dont see,i dont contact and i forget
bout the person
i can forget bout her

...BUT....

Life has been not the same
thinking bout the times
that was once all so sweet
But all has come and pass
We have all left and walk our own path
seeing back not the pass we all had
seeing back not the times spent as a team

Life has been a pain in a butt
everytime i tought i have finally let go
of those dear memories
it always find away to rope me back in
may it be shaun or anyone else...mostly shaun
(which i find really amusing)
Seeing the smiles when walking down the hill
has open a domain in me that i never knew
a domain which my mind tried to close all this while
a domain which contain memories
seal up by the neurons of my brain
forgotten by the sands of time

Its not that i dont want to reply you
its not that i dont want to make jokes in front of you
its not that i want to be a stone in front of u
but
its because
ur smile makes me remember of things i dont want to remember
ur words makes me remember of words i dont want to remember
ur action makes me remember of the times i once had with her
my heart crumbles everytime i remember of the things i once had
things which i hold on so dearly
things i tought i have finally let go of
..why........

I am always scared
i would be a nuiscense to you
thus its why i never sms u
I always thought
the reason why your name echo in my head
was because i keep seeing you everday
but that was 2 years ago
however
ur name still does echo in my head
every day and night
anoying me to my wits

screaming to my self
has become a regular thing
faking a smile to hide my true self
has become a regular thing

why those this happen to me....and all of us...

Let me say it here
once and for all
so i dont have to scream in my head ever again
so i dont have to remember you ever again
so i dont have to burden you with thoughts ever again
i never did and never 1ill
love nor like you
i might have but its all an illusion
and may it always be an illusion
so that neither of us
will ever be burden by it
so that neither of us
will remember the past anymore
let the sands imburst it once more
let memory pile onto it once more
let our life be free once more
never looking back
into the bitter sweet past

one last thing
for all the things i have done
even thought it has already been one year
even thought i have already said this countless times
even thought i know u will never read this post
i would like to say
I AM SORRY
once and for all

till time do my head apart